Doug Stanhope For President!!!

Until the American elections or until I get bored of doing it, the headline for every blog entry will be "Doug Stanhope For President!" He claims to be running for president in '08 as an independent and God help ya if he wins (seriously, God will help him far more than that shit-fer-brains ya got now). And suddenly, the world will be at peace and you can guarentee that at minumum, weed will be legalized.

Go Doug, go!

And, in other news...

It maybe just for today or it may last a couple of days, but I'm gonna spend some time wallowing in self pitty, sleeping, and/or generally not being creative. As a result, this blog thing will suffer.

I mean, it's not like it's gold everytime anyway. I struck gold with 2 maybe 3 entries but the rest haven't been gold, they've been more like potassium permanganate (that's the substance they add to Armor All to give it it's distinctive scent).

I wish I could write gold everytime, then I could write for a top notch sitcom (actually, is thee such a thing anymore?). As it is right now, I'd be lucky to get a gig writing for "World's Wildest Police Chases." Here's a sample:

"Our next criminal thought that driving the wrong way down a divided highway was a good idea... until the cops spotted him, that is!
He crashes into a highway divider and his loot of stolen Speak & Spells spills on the road, spelling out disaster for innocent passersby. The cops arrest him for bad grammer and grand theft auto.
Here's one criminal who will learn how to spell 'jailhouse ass rape' before he's ellegible for parole!"

I only wish Kate & Ashley Olsen were six and making those shitty straight to video things they made when they were six. Here's a sample of something I was commissioned to do years ago but my agent forgot to forward it. It's called "K-K-K-IDS!!!"

KATE: Ar ooo a Jew, Ashwey?

ASHLEY: No way, Jose!

KATE: Ar ooo a dorkie darkie, Ashwey?

ASHLEY: No way, Jose!

KATE: Are ooo da Imperwial Wizzad, Ashwey?

ASHLEY: (gives a "2 thumbs up" sign) Oooo got it Pontiac!

(The girls break into a dance)

END


BTW, I don't agree with what I wrote - I was commissioned to do it and I'm a big whore.

So don't be suprised if I miss an entry here and there over the next week or two. I apologize in advance.

K, bye for now.