It is with some regret but far more excitement that I announce that this blogspot or blogger place or whatever, will be closed or at least, not updated anymore.
Don't Cry!
I've moved my creative energies over to Myspace.com where you'll find a collaboration between me and my very good friend and talented musician Kerry and our drummer Splatter.
We have a band that we have alot of fun with and I think I'm the default computer liason between our musical contribution and the internet. And the irony here is that I'm not an expert in either. Hell, I always thought HTML was short for Hate Mail.
But I do ask, nay, beg that you come check us out over there and hang out. I will be blogging from time to time but it'll be on there instead of here.
Our band is called The Ne'er Do Wells and you can find us at this link:
http://www.myspace.com/the_neer_do_wells
So, thanks to all of you who have been supportive of whatever the hell it is I do.
Thank you, friends! I hope to see you there!
Winston Herbert (aka Mr. Winkie)
P.S
Over there on myspace, I go by a different name. I'm known as Troy Poodle which I think is a cool rock 'n' roller name, albeit a little faggy.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Larry The Cable Guy
I try to be positive about humanity but that attitude is extremely hard to maintain when you've just finished watching Hollywood's latest triumph du feces, "Larry The Cable Guy: Health Inspector."
*Just a note here - Is Larry The Cable Guy a cable guy or a health inspector? Is it me alone that doesn't get that?
I hate it that I'm so worked up about what I consider to be the epitome of nothingness. Then again, maybe I'm jealous that he's made a fortune pretending to be dumb while I've gone broke pretending to be smart.
I use to go to his Website (which will never, ever be linked here) and before it was revamped he had a whole whack of essays where he shat(not literally) on homosexuals, Muslims, and gun control advocates, or as I like to call these groups - "Safe Targets." I went not because I liked him, but because it was so amazingly idiotic, juvenile and just poorly written that I got some perverse pleasure out of the anger I had toward him. I guess I got addicted. Well, those essays (I giggle everytime I call them "essays") are now gone from his website and I'm getting the feeling he's scaled back his hatred in the hopes of garnering a few more fans who will eventually buy "GET IT DONE, PLEASE?" mugs. Or is it "GET A GUN"? Or is it "GUT A NUN" ? I can't remember.
But by golly, his fans sure like him. I went to his new website recently and 1 guy...1 GUY! said he sucked. Boy, oh boy, if you're up for stirring the shit, go to a famous person's website, slag him/her and sit back and watch the (insert first name of famous person here) ______ Heads
go fucking ballistic!
Anyway, my point is that you just can't find decent parking downtown anymore.
Ciao.
*Just a note here - Is Larry The Cable Guy a cable guy or a health inspector? Is it me alone that doesn't get that?
I hate it that I'm so worked up about what I consider to be the epitome of nothingness. Then again, maybe I'm jealous that he's made a fortune pretending to be dumb while I've gone broke pretending to be smart.
I use to go to his Website (which will never, ever be linked here) and before it was revamped he had a whole whack of essays where he shat(not literally) on homosexuals, Muslims, and gun control advocates, or as I like to call these groups - "Safe Targets." I went not because I liked him, but because it was so amazingly idiotic, juvenile and just poorly written that I got some perverse pleasure out of the anger I had toward him. I guess I got addicted. Well, those essays (I giggle everytime I call them "essays") are now gone from his website and I'm getting the feeling he's scaled back his hatred in the hopes of garnering a few more fans who will eventually buy "GET IT DONE, PLEASE?" mugs. Or is it "GET A GUN"? Or is it "GUT A NUN" ? I can't remember.
But by golly, his fans sure like him. I went to his new website recently and 1 guy...1 GUY! said he sucked. Boy, oh boy, if you're up for stirring the shit, go to a famous person's website, slag him/her and sit back and watch the (insert first name of famous person here) ______ Heads
go fucking ballistic!
Anyway, my point is that you just can't find decent parking downtown anymore.
Ciao.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Spreken da Bitzsch?
Out- out are the lights- out all!
And, over each quivering form,
The curtain, a funeral pall,
Comes down with the rush of a storm,
While the angels, all pallid and wan,
Uprising, unveiling, affirm
That the play is the tragedy, "Man,"
And its hero the Conqueror Worm.
One chunk of "Conqueror Worm" by Edgar Allen Poe
So, I think the above passage really sums everything up quite nicely, don't you? It's obvious that what Poe is refering to in the Conqueror Worm (and all his work really) is that folks need to be more friendly to each other when they go shopping.
Yesterday, I went to Safeway to pick up 2 loaves of bread and from the minute I approached the automatic door to the second I walked out of the store, I was raped with grumpiness by 3 different people. Folks sure can be charming, can't they?
Scene 1 - INT./SAFEWAY/DAY
LADY 1: "Excuse me sir, can you tell me where I would find cooking utensils?"
ME: "Sorry, I don't work here but I think they're..."
LADY 1: Well, think all you like but it doesn't do me much good, does it?"
(She sticks her surgery altered nose in the air and strolls off)
-End scene
Scene 2 (20 seconds later) INT./SAFEWAY/DAY
Man with chip on shoulder reaches for toilet paper on upper shelf and slips. His bum hits the ground.
MAN: Fucking, fuck! Who mops up around here? Fuck!
ME: Are you okay?
MAN: Fuck you!
END SCENE
Scene 3 (10 seconds later)
ME checks out bread by squeezing it. Puts 2 loaves in basket. ME turns as a lady walks by. She looks at me.
LADY 2: You are an idiot for shopping here.
END SCENE
I think Safeway should maybe check their air quality or something. Maybe they have toxic air circulating and it's causing people to be assholes. Anyway, I didn't let it ruin my day. I just went home and took my frustration out on the family then I was fine.
Ciao bellas
And, over each quivering form,
The curtain, a funeral pall,
Comes down with the rush of a storm,
While the angels, all pallid and wan,
Uprising, unveiling, affirm
That the play is the tragedy, "Man,"
And its hero the Conqueror Worm.
One chunk of "Conqueror Worm" by Edgar Allen Poe
So, I think the above passage really sums everything up quite nicely, don't you? It's obvious that what Poe is refering to in the Conqueror Worm (and all his work really) is that folks need to be more friendly to each other when they go shopping.
Yesterday, I went to Safeway to pick up 2 loaves of bread and from the minute I approached the automatic door to the second I walked out of the store, I was raped with grumpiness by 3 different people. Folks sure can be charming, can't they?
Scene 1 - INT./SAFEWAY/DAY
LADY 1: "Excuse me sir, can you tell me where I would find cooking utensils?"
ME: "Sorry, I don't work here but I think they're..."
LADY 1: Well, think all you like but it doesn't do me much good, does it?"
(She sticks her surgery altered nose in the air and strolls off)
-End scene
Scene 2 (20 seconds later) INT./SAFEWAY/DAY
Man with chip on shoulder reaches for toilet paper on upper shelf and slips. His bum hits the ground.
MAN: Fucking, fuck! Who mops up around here? Fuck!
ME: Are you okay?
MAN: Fuck you!
END SCENE
Scene 3 (10 seconds later)
ME checks out bread by squeezing it. Puts 2 loaves in basket. ME turns as a lady walks by. She looks at me.
LADY 2: You are an idiot for shopping here.
END SCENE
I think Safeway should maybe check their air quality or something. Maybe they have toxic air circulating and it's causing people to be assholes. Anyway, I didn't let it ruin my day. I just went home and took my frustration out on the family then I was fine.
Ciao bellas
Thursday, April 06, 2006
The Ne'er Do Wells get a MySpace...space
I've added a link to my newly created My Space space. I like space, so having a myspace space is something that I feel I should have.
I can't seem to upload an audio file, though. Can anyone here tell me how I do that? I promise you'll have fun educating me!
Sorry about not doing an entry yesterday but I really had some crap to do that ended up being for naught (or is it 'not')
I have a bum in my pants.
Thanks.
I can't seem to upload an audio file, though. Can anyone here tell me how I do that? I promise you'll have fun educating me!
Sorry about not doing an entry yesterday but I really had some crap to do that ended up being for naught (or is it 'not')
I have a bum in my pants.
Thanks.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
"When inspiration alludes you, quote someone else." - Mr. Winkie (2006)
Today I'm taking the lame-ass approach to blogging. Here are some quotes by famous people that directly or indirectly reflect my views on life, carreer, marriage, writing, creativity, or pretty much anything in general.
Enjoy!
"You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one."
Einstein
"The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity."
Patrick Murray
"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself."
Emo Philips
"I don't set out to offend or shock, but I also don't do anything to avoid it."
Sarah Silverman
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Humor is when you fall into an open sewer and die."
Mel Brooks
"America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between."
Oscar Wilde
"People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news."
A.J Liebling
"I hate television. I hate it as much as I hate peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts."
Orson Welles
"There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!"
John Stewart
"One should never underestimate the stimmulation of eccentricity."
Anonymous
“I can sympathize with people's pains, but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness.”
Aldous Huxley
“I feel the same way about disco as I do about herpes.”
Hunter S Thompson
And the final quote that sums me up in a nutshell:
"I'm a one-man idiot."
Eddie Izzard
K, bye for now!
Enjoy!
"You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one."
Einstein
"The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity."
Patrick Murray
"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself."
Emo Philips
"I don't set out to offend or shock, but I also don't do anything to avoid it."
Sarah Silverman
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Humor is when you fall into an open sewer and die."
Mel Brooks
"America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between."
Oscar Wilde
"People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news."
A.J Liebling
"I hate television. I hate it as much as I hate peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts."
Orson Welles
"There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!"
John Stewart
"One should never underestimate the stimmulation of eccentricity."
Anonymous
“I can sympathize with people's pains, but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness.”
Aldous Huxley
“I feel the same way about disco as I do about herpes.”
Hunter S Thompson
And the final quote that sums me up in a nutshell:
"I'm a one-man idiot."
Eddie Izzard
K, bye for now!
Monday, April 03, 2006
In the year 4025
I got to thinking on Friday that a guy by the name of Jesus was wondering around the middle east (and maybe France too) a couple thousand years ago, and told folks that it would be to their benefit to be nice to each other. Then, a couple hundred years later, some blokes wrote it all down the exact way it happened. Then, 2000 years later, a couple million people sign up for blog accounts and write shit exactly how it happens.
I wonder if those of us involved in the blogosphere will be looked at as chriniclers of a particular time or sumpin in the future. In case that does happen, I better do some chroniclin'. Here I go.
"And the Ball with a numerical value of 8 was held to the bosom of the Chosen One and shaken well. Crowds gathered as the Ball revealed it's secret and the people of the planet feasted on Dorritas and drank from plastic containers containing the ambrosia of Pepsye.
All rejoiced when the Ball's magical, mysterious answer to the question of the ages was revealed. It solemnly showed, "Yes."
With upliftment in the hearts of beasts and men, all began churning the butter of peace and spraying the fresh scent of Fabreeze on thier linens. A cloud of dust and those twirly leaves from the trees that children hold dear, arose to the sky above and in this cloud appeared a face so terrifying yet holy that the people cringed, vomited, then bowed to it.
"Praise you, oh dust devil!", they shouted out with glee.
It was then that the heathens from the south invaded the lands and raped it merily. They took the change from underneath cushions and programmed the image givers to show nothing but plays of reality. The southerners poisoned food and water and their overweight frames jiggled when they walked and they giggled when they talked, thinking it made the world go round, round, round.
Then, the Chosen One, Ball with the numerical value of 8 held high for all to see, came prancing in like an imp from a rainbow signed night club and muttered in a voice that should not have been heard by anyone, yet was heard by all, "Hey, get out of here unless you're in the parade!"
It was then that the waters became unpoisoned, and the food became pallatable, and the disease became curable, and the Mott became Hoopable. It was then that those of the south packed up and moved to eastern lands where they set up kiosks and sold various wares of questionable quality.
Amen
K, bye for now.
I wonder if those of us involved in the blogosphere will be looked at as chriniclers of a particular time or sumpin in the future. In case that does happen, I better do some chroniclin'. Here I go.
"And the Ball with a numerical value of 8 was held to the bosom of the Chosen One and shaken well. Crowds gathered as the Ball revealed it's secret and the people of the planet feasted on Dorritas and drank from plastic containers containing the ambrosia of Pepsye.
All rejoiced when the Ball's magical, mysterious answer to the question of the ages was revealed. It solemnly showed, "Yes."
With upliftment in the hearts of beasts and men, all began churning the butter of peace and spraying the fresh scent of Fabreeze on thier linens. A cloud of dust and those twirly leaves from the trees that children hold dear, arose to the sky above and in this cloud appeared a face so terrifying yet holy that the people cringed, vomited, then bowed to it.
"Praise you, oh dust devil!", they shouted out with glee.
It was then that the heathens from the south invaded the lands and raped it merily. They took the change from underneath cushions and programmed the image givers to show nothing but plays of reality. The southerners poisoned food and water and their overweight frames jiggled when they walked and they giggled when they talked, thinking it made the world go round, round, round.
Then, the Chosen One, Ball with the numerical value of 8 held high for all to see, came prancing in like an imp from a rainbow signed night club and muttered in a voice that should not have been heard by anyone, yet was heard by all, "Hey, get out of here unless you're in the parade!"
It was then that the waters became unpoisoned, and the food became pallatable, and the disease became curable, and the Mott became Hoopable. It was then that those of the south packed up and moved to eastern lands where they set up kiosks and sold various wares of questionable quality.
Amen
K, bye for now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
