Where oh where have my testicles gone?

Feb. 16/06 - The temperature outside is -40 C with the windchill (for my American friends that's -178 F. Just kiddin. To be serious, -42 C and -42 F are the same temp. so that gives you an idea of what its like here). I stepped outside to have a smoke and a coffee and was greeted by Old Man Winter who seemed to have taken a vacation this year but showed up on my doorstep and made my testicles dissapear when I went outside. He's a regular magician.

"The Amazing Old Man Winternio! Watch this prestidigitator make testicles dissapear and elongate nipples!"

Still no snow, though. Alberta without snow is like a bear without fur - it's ugly, unrecognizeable, and you can't ski down it. White Christmas? My ass. No, really... it looks like my ass outside. Speaking of which, I need a bleaching.

I hear businesses related to snow are having a tough time this year but hookers have seen record profits. In "Ho Today" magazine, the editor Gwen L Yufukmee, reported that "girls aren't afraid to freeze so they're out there. And as we say in the business, 'The more you go down, the more your profits go up."

Alot of people seem worried about the state of the planet and global warming. Crazy but loveable Canadian environmentalist David Suzuki has moved to Thule Greenland because he thinks the Ozone Layer is in better shape there and he can continue to catch healthy, non-toxic fish with his bare hands. Actually, David Suzuki looks exactly like a bear with no fur. He is one!
You heard it here first, folks.

K, buy fur now