Let's get philosophical!

There are two types of people in this world: Me, and everyone else.

I'm not so self involved to think that everyone else exists simply to create the atmosphere in which I exist, no. And on the flip-side of that, I know...I KNOW I'm not put on this planet to cater to you (and by "you" I mean the other 4.9999999999999999999999 billion people living on this dirt-ball).

Do you want to know why I'm here?

That's right, you guessed it - I was put on this planet to have hobbies!

I'm sure one day I'm going to want to include "pondering the bigger questions" as one of my hobbies but right now, I'm into woodworking. I guess that's slightly Jesus-like, but I could never take that next step and try to gain a mass following. And let's not even get into turning water into wine. Hell, last time I made Kool-ade it was way too sweet.

I was big into physics there for awhile. I took a standard approach to trying to learn it but it all became too much. I figured I'd start out with basic Galileo dropping stuff off a rooftop, then moving to apples falling from trees, and then onto E=MC squared. It sounds easy enough but Christ on crutches, it doesn't take long before you find yourself reading about particle physics or string theory and thinking "I would much rather have my testicles nawed off by badgers than try and comprehend this stuff." Plus, I gained 35lbs trying to learn. Every time they referenced Pi, I got hungry (baddum ching).

Making plastic models was a lot of fun until I started putting the glue in paper bags and huffing instead of putting it on the tail of my Spitfire or the steering wheel of my Porsche 911.

I learned many, many things when I got into my conspiracy theory phase. I learned that aliens have given the American government the ability to make Zero Point Energy propulsion machines, I've learned that there is a huge population of people living underground who run everything above ground, and I learned that I really couldn't give a shit about any of it. But it is fun to read, I'll admit that.
(*Note - did you know that we're all born with a 6 ounce chunk of gold in our butts and doctors aren't really spanking babies, they're stealing the gold to give to "The One They Call Mortimer"?)

There are still many things I'd like to take up as a hobby but haven't found the time. In no particular order, here are some fun things you might want to try:

Tear Collecting - make your friends cry then collect a tear from each one. It'd be the saddest scrapbook ever!

Arm bending - go on, bend your arm!

Razor Blade crafts - make different things using razor blades! (but not if you have Parkinson's disease)

Grave Robbing - this lost hobby is just waiting to be re-discovered!

Passive S & M - don't spank his/her ass, just look at it and wish it harm

Firestarting - develop the talent of setting things ablaze with your mind.


Anyway, that's my philosophy!

K, bye for now.

P.S.
Oh yeah, there's another hobby you can take on. Start with an idea like your personal philosophy then go!, then look back on it after you're done and wonder how you got from point A to point Q.