I could probably learn Mandarin easier than "Teen Girl Speak"

My wife found a note in my almost 13 year old son's pants while dilligently doing laundry as I lay on the couch watching Mythbusters. The gist of the note SEEMS (i emphasized for a reason) to be that my son made this poor girl feel like shit by being an asshole.

But I know my kid and he's never been an asshole. On the other hand, people change when they get into relationships. But on the other, other hand, grade 7 girls are as rational as Sybil on a bad day. On the other, other, other hand, my son is my son and I've been an asshole before so he must be capable of it too.

But getting back to the incoherence of the letter, here's a sample of what was written,

(*Note - the apostrophes around the o's signify the devil horns she included)

"Wen u went w me -----> :) t'o' the sh'o'w eye was :)!!!!!!!!! Now ur all fucked up??? WH'o'aaa, it wazza Kevin wh'o' left L'o'ri all by her____!! t'o' git da c'o'rns. Why did hed'o' wa he d'o'??? And then *BANG* ur like 'shuddup!' :( H'o'w d'o' u think I'm p'o'se to feel like? :(:(:(:( Answer me if u want but u pr'o'lly w'o'nt but u shud. Bi Bi."

I asked my wife who Bi Bi was but my she got it right away. She says "That it means Bye Bye, not bee bee." I really thought it was pronounced bee bee. Hmmm, only girls can understand girls.

My son only wrote one thing on that entire page and I gotta give him credit because this is what he wrote back:

"Wow, it sounds like your pissed."

What a good kid! No bizarre wording and his sentence made sense. Then she responded with more of the other stuff but I got a headache. I was just so happy I understood what he wrote and it was legible! But how do I tell him that he'll experience that exact argument throughout his entire life?

So I think he was being a jerk to this girl but she could very well be that crazy grade 7 chick who threatens suicide everytime her boyfriend breaks up with her but then another guy comes along and she forgets to kill herself and is "sooooo in love!" all of a sudden.

It's tough being a teenager. It's must be tougher being an English teacher.