Memories of Paul

Normally I'm not prone to silly little outbursts of sentimentallity, but ah shucks, I just have to take a stroll down Rue Memory.

My friend Paul is leaving the town (Edmonton, Alberta, Canada) where he currently lives and is moving to Toronto to become a big time jack hammer operator. We've had a lot of memories together and I'd just like to share some of the highlights with you.

Memories:

Remember the time we tried to eat that homeless person? Wow, that was some crazy stuff. What was really funny was that we couldn't find a clean fork anywhere! Remember we tried to use that plastic fork but the tongs kept breaking off so we just decided to take his shoes? I totally l-o-l-ed my ass off when you put them on and ran through the inner city yelling, "HUMP ME NOW WHILE I'M STILL FRESH!"

Remember when you, Kerry, Damon, and I all slept with Lee Aaron on the same night and we only had one condom? I'm welling up as I type.

I remember when you passed out at that party in Calgary and Cory Mack thought it would be funny to put your hand in warm water so you'd pee yourself but all we had was a coffee tin full of battery acid. Now your ring falls off all the time and we all call you "Mr. Bare-knuckle boxer man."

Hey Paul, remember when we went golfing with Paul Sveen and I kept calling you Paul but I was reffering to Paul Sveen, not you? You never did notice but I felt silly about that. Sorry.

One of my favorite memories was the very first time I met you. You came up to me and said, "Hi there."
You nut!

Remember when we started that band and we were jamming in Kerry's garage and you came up with that tune that went "Whatcha gonna do with all that junk, all that junk in your trunk?" And I replied, "I'm gonna git git git you drunk." Then it was stolen by that other band and we couldn't prove in court that we wrote it nor could we really remember if it was something we came up with first or that we were just sooo baked that we may have transposed the present and the past?

Remember when we followed the Rev. Jim Jones to Guyana and just as everyone was keeling over from the poison, you yelled out "Hey Kool-Ade!" and that big red ewer came out of the walls and we swore we'd never drop acid again?

Remember when I wore your pants because, well, they were your pants?

I hope you have an excellent, rewarding time in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. I don't know if you're going there to find success or what, but just know that you're the kind of fella who success will find on its own no matter where you go (except maybe Piapot Saskatchewan).

We will surely miss you!

K, bye for now Paul.

P.S. This turned far too sappy. Maybe tomorrow I'll talk about 'drunk sex' or something.