"If you were forced into a one night stand with someone of the same sex and you could choose who it would be, who would you pick?"
Whenever I get asked a question like that- something totally devoid of any real substance- I'm all over it. I love the small things in life, the meaningless things. So I actually put some effort into my choice. If I had to have gay sex with a person of my own choosing, I would pick none other than...
...that's right, the biggest, baddest mother of 'em all...
Michael Clark Duncan!
He's a 6 foot 5 inch tall, choco-bass cannon!
* Note - he's the one in between the 2 ACTUAL gay guys.
Before you say, "Mr. Winkie, I figured you'd be more of a Steve Buscemi guy," please let me explain myself.
When I was a kid, my daddy always told me, "Son, I will support anything you choose to do. The only thing I ask is that you dive into it 110%." And frankly, choosing to have gay sex with Michael Clark Duncan when you've never had gay sex is certainly diving in 110%. In fact, it might even be as high as 120-125%.
Plus, have you heard Michael Clark Duncan talk? He's got that bass voice that makes you vibrate all over. Pillow talk would shake you right off the bed! And I can't even imagine what it would be like to have a threesome with him and Barry White. All I know is that it would be the biggest, bassiest, ugliest Oreo Cookie imaginable.
Another reason why I would choose him is he seems like a good listener and someone who really would care about my feelings. We could talk about his film roles, maybe.
Of course, he'd be the chick in all this. After all, it's "MR" Winkie - not Missus Winkie.
K, bye for now
6 comments:
the visual cracks me up...
Luscious - I believe I explained the reasons I would choose him and I hear the "black = big" thing is just a myth. Although you know MCD has it going on "downstairs!"
Cory - the visual cracks you up because you know what I look like. A more disturbing visual would be me and B.J. Woodbury.
Mr Winkie....come on, you can tell us. Stop hiding in the closet!! Come out already!! LOL
This posting is funny enough to be on the Jon Stewart show! NIcely written.You crack me up dude.
Next time I see you is it ok if I just shake your hand and no hugs eh?....just in case.....
:-O
Hey Chatterbox, when did you get so virginal? Don't you have a son??
;-)
Daryl, don't worry. I only go for gigantic, african american hollywood stars - not pasty white guys. So you're safe!
And keep in mind, I will defend Chatterbox's virtue to the death so be careful what ya say!
Pasty? Whaddya mean pasty? Did my tan from Australia wear off after only 6 1/2 months?!?!
;-)
And chatterbox, your "almost" description is accepted...barely.
;-)
Alright, I'll play.......Angelina you sassy wench, come hither. And for those of you that are appalled, you can have Jennifer. While lovely, she's a little too vanilla for me.
And Winston, I admire your courage. At least you'd get some time off work while your stitches healed.
D.
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