Apologies

NOTE** Before reading today's entry you should read yesterday's entry for context.

I have to apologize for yesterday's post. I was feeling miserable and thought that if I complimented myself enough, I would feel better and not cry and bang my fist on the dashboard of my car as I sat in the parkade and occassionaly assured passersby that I was alright.

My penis is small. There you have it. I said it.
Other guys brag about their 17inch cocks but, alas, mine is only 13 inches. Sorry ladies.

My eyes are not hazel. They're pink. That picture in my profile is a lie and I'll change it soon. I'm actually half Albino and half hunchback.

I have the worst looking ass in history. Stranded Brazillian soccer players wouldn't touch it. Greek soccer players would but that's cold comfort knowing they'd touch anybody's ass. I ain't special.

I don't smell like God either. I actually smell like Dog. Stupid dyslexia and stupid me for stealing an old baroom joke punchline that wasn't that funny in the first place. DAMN!!

The conversation with the Dalai Lama did take place however. He's a good shit that Dalai Lama. Luv ya, Lama.

Someone shit on me please,

Mr. Winkie