Someone who I just met brought up the subject of death recently and it got me to thinking of who I'd lke to see die and come back and haunt me. Here's a list of some of those people (but in no particular order):
Pauly Shore - I know it's a cliche to hate him but there's a reason it's a cliche. He's repulsive. Two reasons why I would want him to die and haunt me - 1) for the altruistic reason of saving the rest of humanity from any more shit from him, and 2) I'd like to find out if he has a pleasant, relatable side.
Cashier at Safeway - She always has kind things to say and frankly, she's cute. I would enjoy nothing more than waking up in the middle of the night to see her ghost sitting at the end of my bed and speaking in tongues...if you know what I mean ;)
The Wonder Twins - "Wonder Twin Powers activate! Form of...a lapdog! Shape of...world's softest pillow!" Then I would have the best sleep of my life as I snuggle both.
The entire cast of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang - It's not like I don't already sing "Truly Scrumptious" to myself every night anyway. It would just be great to have those two british kids and that hot opera chick do it for real! I could also learn the dance steps to "The Ol' Bamboo."
The Kool Aid Guy - I would shout, "Hey Kool Aid!" and he would burst through my wall but wouldn't smash it because he's a ghost! All the coolness of Kool Aid without the expensive home repair! Awesome!
Jesus - Not the biblical Jesus but a nice Mexican man named Jesus (because everyone could use a cabana boy...ghost or not).
Rob Schneider (see Pauly Shore).
And there you have it.
Ich bin ein handsome,
Mr. Winkie
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2 comments:
lol. nice post. hey uh, kindly add martin short to the list of weasels youve got.
personally, i would have paris hilton die and then come back once in a while to decorate my walk-in closet by posing as a mannequin. then again, i wouldnt want her to skank up my house... hmm...
Yeah those are excellent candidates and I agree.
As far as Paris Hilton goes, if I recall my college Poltergeist 201 correctly, ghosts abandon their "skank" after death and obtain a kind of lesser "tramp" aura. Don't quote me on that though.
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